you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
