I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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