Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
