Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
