She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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