Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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