he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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