can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
