I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think your dad took our porno
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
