We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I want to fling myself into the sun
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