Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
