He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
