I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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