yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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