were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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