too bad you live with your parents still
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
