just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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