apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im holly from the hills drunk
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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