no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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