Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
