It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
