i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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