You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
