he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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