Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
