If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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