its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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