Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
