something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
