that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
