2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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