dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
