I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
