So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
