Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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