David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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