Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
