he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
