Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
