'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
