you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
