she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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