There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ttyl tear gas
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm like, not good at living.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
