so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
