i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
