Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
