the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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