Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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