was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
