You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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