hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
